Releasing the Pressure on Myself

This is me purging. We are in the midst of the Sagittarius full moon, and I feel a massive collective energy of purging. It’s an energy calling us to release all of the pressures we place on ourselves. I personally have screamed and cried at random times the past few days just to allow release and keep energy flowing through my body (in addition to self reiki, breathing, meditation, exercise, showers, ALL the things. Seriously, can we normalize needing to just scream something out sometimes?)

So, I’m about to be really raw. A few minutes ago, I suddenly had a remembrance of me as a child getting in trouble for not doing good enough. In this instance, I was a cute little clogger in a family of cloggers, and when I missed a step or got off beat, I got grounded, yelled at or whatever else. My mom felt the pressure for me to get it right and for me to be the best I could be. Clogging was my family’s business, so to some degree, my life did depend on me clogging well.

And now that I am a business owner, I really get that pressure.

I also grew up in a school system with high performance expectations. Heck, I had high expectations of myself.

And today, it clicked. I need it to be ok for me to do just ok. Or even mess up and get it “wrong.” As ironic as it sounds, by giving this permission to myself, it helps relieve pressure and allows me to feel unstuck from this space I am prone to falling into where I am frozen by fear of not doing something my best. What the heck is my best? How about we just celebrate me going for “it” at all?

Today I got to be here for my daughter as she made a decision that will help her have less pressure in high school (I am so proud of her!) And Mom helped me soothe the little girl inside me who needed to know she IS good enough just for who she is and for trying at all.

Generational healing is so beautiful because when I do the work to heal, it does have a ripple effect.

Sending you love wherever you are today.

Kandi